Domestic violence is a term used to describe the physical, emotional, sexual or mental abuse of one person (usually a woman) by another (usually a man) with whom they have or have had a close or intimate relationship. 

Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive or controlling behaviour which is used most frequently by men to maintain power over ‘their’ women. However such violence or abuse can be directed towards children, other family members, and friends of the woman herself. Controlling and abusive behaviour can also occur in lesbian and gay relationships and by women against men.

Domestic violence can start at any point in a relationship, even many years after you first met. However, research shows that formal marriage, pregnancy or childbirth can sometimes signal the beginning of abuse.

Domestic violence is rarely a one off event. It tends to escalate in frequency and severity over time. Children are invariably affected by domestic violence whether they witness it at first hand or not.

Domestic violence can be:

Physical Abuse – hurting someone by punching, slapping, pushing, kicking, biting, burning or beating – often leading to permanent injuries and sometimes death.

Sexual Abuse – forcing or encouraging someone to have sex against their will or take part in any other sexual activities that make them uncomfortable.

Emotional Abuse – saying and/or doing things that frighten or put the other person down to make them feel bad. For example, constantly saying that someone is stupid or ugly.

Controlling Behaviour – preventing someone from acting freely. This can include threats, keeping them from seeing relatives and friends, not letting them have a job or not letting them spend or have access to money. Being made a prisoner in their own home.

Everyone has the right to be safe in their own home and live free from violence and fear. You may feel humiliated, frightened, ashamed, alone and confused – but you are not to blame. Domestic violence is very common: it can be experienced by both women and men form any background, social class, race sexuality, age, disability, religion or culture.

If you, or someone you know, are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence, there are a range of organisations that can help.  Pendle Domestic Violence Initiative are a local orgaanisation who can support and advise you, and there are other national and local organisations who can help.  You can find links to them from this page.

Information provided by the Pendle Donestic Violence Initiative.